Logan Hunting
by Runs with Werewolfs
Summary: Jogan, Carlos/Kendall. "The Bait Has Been Placed." James is desparate to talk to Logan, so Kendall and Carlos help him go Logan Hunting. Hilarity ensues.


**Logan Hunting**

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"Please Kendall?" James was standing right in front of Kendall, batting his eyes. "He won't be mad at us forever. Just temporarily." This was nothing but the truth.

"If you like him, why do you WANT to make him mad for any amount of time?" Kendall asked. Sometimes, James made no sense. At all. Ever, really. Like the time he had been orange.

"Because he's hot when he's angry. And I want to hold his heart captive" James explained. "And the easiest way to do that is to hold all the rest of him captive"

Kendall snorted "You're such an idiot" he said sadly as Carlos walked in, dancing around like a maniac. "I need new friends" he sighed as Carlos tripped over something.

James stuck out his bottom lip "Please?" he batted his eyes and made a puppy dog face.

Kendall shook his head "No." he crossed his arms stubbornly. "and don't do that, it only works on my mom and Carlos"

"What is Kendall refusing to do this time?" Carlos asked, plopping down on the couch next to Kendall and picking up a piece of popcorn from the bucket next to Kendall. Kendall smiled and tossed a piece at him.

"I want to go Logan hunting." James said.

Carlos choked on his popcorn. "What the-" he spluttered.

"Griffin said hunting humans is fun and ever since Logan admitted he's in love with me last week I haven't been able to get him to talk to me" James said. "He just squeaks and runs out of the room everytime I look at him. And God forbid I smile" he said shaking his head.

"What happens then?" Carlos asked, confused. Same as always.

James paused, tilting his head to the side "5-4-3-2" he said, counting the numbers off on his fingers as well, as if he knew what would happen.

Logan walked in. James turned around and smiled brightly at him. Logan released a shrill scream and battered James with whatever was in his pockets, which turned out to be His cell phone, a pen, a small composition journal (one of those pocket ones), a calculator, a compass, and a pack of gum, before running into the bathroom screaming.

"Well that was- odd" Kendall said, picking up the pen, which had landed in his lap.

James nodded "Exactly" he said, eyeing the gum. "Gum anyone?"

Carlos raised his hand "I'll take a piece"

"Wait for it"

Logan stormed out of the bathroom. "Don't. you. Dare.".

He stomped over to James, ripped the gum pack out of his hand and collected all of his items- leaving just his composition journal and pen and cell phone. He then stormed back into the bathroom.

Kendall looked up at James. "And he's been doing this all week?"

James nodded "Yeah. Sharing a room with him has been getting difficult" he admitted sadly. "He'll walk in at thee a.m, scream and run into something. Which is really funny and sad at the sam time"

"Is that why Freight Train had to carry him into the studio the other day?" Carlos asked, remembering the incident. Logan had made up some terms on that occasion.

"Yes." James shrugged "For the smart one, Logan is sure stupid" he sighed.

* * *

Kendall leaned up against the wall as James and Carlos tried to figure out the net. "You two are so stupid" he sighed.

Carlos gave him a dirty look. "Do you really want to go through _another _messy break up? Because the messy break up we would have would end up with the floor of our bedroom being messy with blood. Your blood"

Kendall shrugged "I think that counts as domestic violence, Carly" he smirked.

James looked up from the instructions "You two are so gay" he muttered.

"And you're not?" Kendall asked, one of his bushy eyebrows raised.

"No. I still like girls. And I've only ever thought Logan was hot"

"So, you're Logansexual?" Carlos asked, trying to de-tangle part of the net. Kendall choked on his gum as he heard the words leave his boyfriends mouth. James collapsed into the net, laughing. Carlos looked at them, wondering what was so funny. He laughed because the other two were laughing. He didn't see what was so funny at all.

"Oh. My. God. Did you really just say that?" Kendall asked when he was finally capable of speech, several minutes later.

"Yes" Carlos said, smiling. He looked at James seriously. "Well? Are you?"

James sat up, eyes watering "Yeah, I guess you could say that" he said, clutching at his stomach. "Where do you come up with this stuff?" he asked with a grin.

"I don't really know" Carlos shrugged.

Kendall smiled. "Well, I do. You're crazy, and amazing and kind of wonderful and-"

James gagged "Save it for the bedroom, boys. We've got work to do"

Kendall grinned "Fine. But I plan on doing just that later" he said, winking at Carlos. "No mercy". James tried to block it out. "At all"

Carlos grinned "Fine by me"

Kendall winked suggestively. "We can use the-"

"OH MY GOD! WOULD YOU TWO SHUT UP!" James screamed. "Save it for your bedroom and don't talk about it anywhere else!"

"Again. I plan on doing just that" Kendall grinned at Carlos. James rolled his eyes. His friends were crazy. He honestly couldn't remember a time when at least one of the group hadn't been completely nuts. Whether it was Kendall deciding to play hockey with a frozen hostess Dingdong because Katie had hid all the hockey pucks, Or Carlos and his stupid helmet, or Logan and his current weirdness or the time he himself had turned into a walking pumpkin, one of them was always doing something completely crazy. It was why they worked as a group so well.

Carlos bounced up and down "Let's go" he pulled on Kendall's hands towards their bedroom, bouncing happily

"NO!" James shouted. "This is only the end of the trap! We still have to find Logan and get our butterfly nets and lay the bait!" He shouted.

"What bait would you be referring too?" Kendall asked, shaking his head.

James pulled the composition book, calculator and pen out of his pocket. "The calculator is our bait. It's his lucky one. And the diary is my bribe"

"You're blackmailing now?" Kendall asked, eyes wide.

"Yes"

* * *

Logan walked into the lobby, humming something under his breath and looking around for something. He looked up, only to be slammed by Carlos, who was holding an airsoft gun. "Um? What are you doing?" he asked slowly.

"Hunting Humans" Carlos said.

"That's nice, have you seen my lucky- wait, what?" Logan looked up, shocked.

"Hunting Humans" Carlos repeateded, giving Logan a look

"What humans?" Logan asked softly. He took a step back, eyeing the gun warily.

"You" Carlos pointed the gun at Logan. Logan screamed and wheeled around, taking off towards the elevator. Carlos' walky talky beeped.

"The bait has been placed" Kendall's voice said. "It took a long time too- calculators aren't so easy to tie to fishing line" he said.

James' voice came over the walky talk "Shut up Kendall, no one cares"

Carlos picked it up and pressed the button "Do you really want to go there, Jamie-boy? I am holding a gun, and I do know where your post is,"

James answered back "Uhhh…. Coming mom!"

Carlos laughed and took off after Logan, who still hadn't quite made it to the Elevator. He would get off on their floor, so Kendall was waiting there for him, to herd him into the apartment. Logan pounded on the button and dove into the Elevator before it was even open.

Carlos laughed and took off up the stairs, laughing even harder when he heard Logan scream and Kendall shout something. Logan screamed some profanity at Kendall. Carlos would have to have a little talk with him later.

He made it up to the second level in time to see Kendall make a dive for Logan. Logan screeched and took off into the apartment. Carlos helped Kendall up. "He's toast" Carlos mused.

Kendall nodded, wrapping his arms around him "So dead. I regret not asking James what he planned to do with Logan _after _he catches him" Kendall admitted, pressing a kiss to Carlos' helmet.

Logan dashed into the apartment. Sometimes, the lovebirds were so crazy. He gasped when he saw his lucky calculator lying on the floor. He walked over to pick it up. As he lifted it up, he heard a snap and then something fell on top of him. A net.

As he struggled to get out of it, a pair of feet stopped right by his face. "Why, hello Logie"

Logan looked up and squeeked. James was standing over him, completely shirtless, his 6 pack soaking wet. _Why. Why. Why did James have to tease him so bad?_

"It seems you fell for my trap" James continued. Logan squeaked again. _A trap? So the __**lovebirds**__ weren't behind this one…weird. _

"Trap?" Logan asked.

He felt himself being lifted up in the net and begin moving. What the hell was wrong with James. Hunting humans? Why did Griffin ever put that idea in James' stubborn head. Logan made a mental note to thank Griffin the next time he saw his boss.

James dumped Logan onto Logan's bed. Logan immediately began trying to scramble away, but James grabbed a hold of his foot. "Knock it off" James said. "I have you as a captive audience and you are going. To . listen."

"Don't hurt me!" Logan squeaked.

James laughed, "Hurt you? I wouldn't dream of it"

"Well than why did you have Carlos chasing me with an air soft gun and Kendall chasing me with a taser?"

"I had nothing to do with the taser. He was supposed to have a water gun. And I wanted you to stop squeaking, running out of the room, and pelting me with whatever crap is in your pockets when you see me"

"I don't want you to yell at me for being gay" Logan squeaked, struggling against the net.

"Dammit Logan, stop squeaking. And did I yell at Kendall or Carlos for being gay? NO!" James threw his hands up in annoyance. "It doesn't even matter!"

"But you're not gay and I like you" Logan argued.

James pulled Logan into his lap. "My dear Logan, I might not be gay. But I am Logansexual."

Logan looked at him, confused. "What- the" he asked, wondering when James and Carlos's had switched part of their brains.

"Carlos came up with it. I like girls. But I like you more than I like any girl. Hence the term Logansexual." James explained.

"You like me?" Logan asked breathlessly as James detangled him from the net.

James finally got Logan free and pushed him into the bed. "Let me correct that. I love you" he murmered. He was straddling Logan on the bed. Logan looked up at him, confused. "Damn, for the smart one, you sure are stupid" James said, his voice practically _dripping _with sex. "Do I need to show you everything"

Logan moaned as James adjusted himself on top of him "Well, I am a visual learner" he joked.

The next thing Logan knew, he was being attacked by James's mouth. James certainly knew his way around a make out session, was literally all Logan could think, other than the screams of I AM DREAMING. THIS IS NOT REAL. God, Logan sounded like James.

James broke the kiss, both boys gasping for air. "Do you understand?" he asked breathlessly.

"Yeah, I think I do" Logan panted.

The couple lay in silence for a couple seconds before James spoke up "Griffin was right?"

Logan scoffed "There's a first. What was he right about?" Logan already knew the answer, he just really liked listening to James' voice.

"Hunting Humans is such a thrill"

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**A/N: This fic is dedicated to Unthinkable13, because she's amazing and thinks I'm amazing and loves my writing! And the whole idea stemmed from a conversation we had about reviews, something I said. I am going to do another fic stemmed off of something she said in that conversation called "Laughing Like A Crazy Person" I hope. And Unthinkable, I sooo had to do the thing we were talking about when I thought of this. Lol. **

**Yeah, I got nothing else. So I DON'T own so you DON'T sue me because I hereby DISCLAIM. But I really, really , want Kendall! With all my heart… (turns away) I lost my daddy! Don't I deserve some happiness?**

**And with that, Peace, I'm out.**


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